When did this happen?

I was asked by Sadie's Beehive leader to take pictures of all the Young Women
This was job I was really excited about! Teenagers are great to shoot, there willing to try anything I ask them to.
So I started with the Laurels and worked my way down through the Beehives.
Sadie was the second to last girl before the night was done.
As I looked through me lens at her, my heart fluttered and my breath caught.
I was looking a young women !
Not a little girl .
This struck me so hard .
I look at this face all day everyday. But this face on this day, it was as if she changed right before my eyes.
Or maybe not?
I know time has changed her, especially in the last two years.
But I would look at her and see those rapid changes and think to myself
"Slow down, your just a little girl, this is all happening to fast"
So I have thought of her as a little girl inside this changing body wishing the outside and inside would reconcile.
And last night I think I got my wish.
Was I able to see her as the world sees her ?
Was I able to let go of the worry that is my constant companion when I am parenting her?
Or was able to look her how I should always look her?
This beautiful girl that has blessed my life in so many ways.
Who teaches through her example of Love, and Acceptance, and Patience.
I have had people tell me time and time again what an amazing spirit she has.
And I was lucky enough to see that literally radiate for her and change me.
I Love You Sadie!

"Second Star to the Right and Straight on till Morning!"

Gaige turned nine on Monday! For his birthday dinner he chose Gringo's. As we were leaving Sadie said "We forgot to sing Happy Birthday!" I turned to Gaige and said "do you want us to sing Happy Birthday?" He shook his head and with a very pre-adolescent look on his face said "No I'm to big." This statement made by my nine year literally stopped me in my tracks, and echoed in my ears in the days that followed. "No I'm too big."

When he was born I so happy to have this barrel chested, blond haired, blue eyed boy. He ate like a champ and LOVED his mama!
I loved everything about having a little boy. Growing up with 4 sisters and only 1 brother , I was a little unsure of what to do with a boy. But that worry was put rest as he grew, he knew exactly what little boys were supposed to do. He made these guttural noises, and he pushed everything, wheels or no wheels, my curling iron included. He was his father's shadow and they were the best of friends.

As his second birthday approached, we had what I would call a Battle of Wills that lasted for the next two years. I remember thinking to myself "Where did my sweet little boy go?" This was one of my darkest times as mother. Battling sometimes on a hourly basis with one little boy all the while knowing I was excepting another baby boy in a few short months. After many sleepless nights, and timeout after timeout, he started to mellow. And I started to see signs of that wonderful little boy again.

He has been a joy to watch grow up. I can look back on those times when I was consumed with worry for him and for our relationship, and see how those traits he developed as a strong willed, aggressive toddler has served him well as he has grown. But just like when he was two and I find myself asking "Where did my little boy go?" And how can I stop the inevitable march of time? So as Wendy asked "How do you get to Neverland?" I am wishing there was such a place. Where I could send this wide-eyed, energetic, determined boy. Where the most treasured things in life are sticks and rocks, and those same sticks and rocks make you a pirate, or a cowboy, or a superhero! Where he will always think anything is possible. Where the next adventure is waiting for him just behind the tree.

I know I will have to be his Neverland. Remembering those things he did as little boy. Remembering those simple things that brought him so much joy. I will keep this little toe headed, blue eyed boy, who loves to wrestle with his dad, who loves to play in the tree fort, whose hands are always dirty! I will keep him in my Neverland!

Gaige 4 years old, Sept 2003

This is not my idea of fun!

Don't you Love the expressions on her face. You don't have to wonder what she is thinking.
I do have to admit, I was laughing when I was taking these. So was her mom which happens to be my sister. The bottom picture is
proof that it wasn't all bad. She is such a Cutie Pie! There is nothing better in the world to photograph than babies. Love it! Love It!

Hard Work!

Sweet Sweet Boy,
I tortured him thoroughly. Taking pictures is hard work when you're 5 weeks old!
I'm sure he went home and slept the afternoon away.
Thanks Courtney and Cordin for the fun morning.
Any excuse to snuggle my new nephew.

Here's Hoping

Spring Sprung! For a day.
So we decided to spend the day outdoors.
Gaige was on Spring Break so we thought we would take advantage of the slightly warm
slightly windy day and go to the park. And yes my boys were with me. They go running and screaming every time they
see me with camera in hand. I always have my camera, so they get a lot of exercise.
Sadie was at school ( for those of you who maybe a little confused, she attends a private school, that's a
whole other blog entry.) All in all it was nice day. It was good to be outside. So here's hoping for more
warm days. As I have seriously thought about moving back to Phoenix. The last month was most unpleasant.
And unpleasant isn't really the word I want to use to describe the weather, or how I felt about it. But for the sake of keeping a
G rating I will use the word "unpleasant".


Love Love Love Love the piggies!
(tales,that is)
I wish I could bottle just a bit of her!
For I find her to be the most.....what?
There are no words!

She Makes Me Smile!

Because a new tube of lip gloss makes my day too!
Because her name is Andi Jane.
Because she sat still long enough for me to snap a couple pictures!

When I get her out of bed she says "you had a good sleep mommy?"
Because her confidence is astounding.
Because her belly and her cheeks still look like a baby's.
Because I know I will never win argument.
What hope do I possibly have, look at those eyes
Because she loves my shoes as much as I do.

Because she is way more than I bargained for!

Don't try to adjust your Screen

Gaige and Clay with there Easter Egg masterpieces!

I love how these photos turned out when all the processing was done.

Don't try to adjust your screen, yes that is snow you see in the background We decided instead of fighting it we would embrace the snow and the sub-zero temps and have the Easter Egg Hunt outside. The kids couldn't have cared less! I need to remember that more often. I get so caught up in all the details, needing it to be perfect. Perfect weather, perfect cloths... Notice my shirtless boys in the pictures above, when all they really want is to have fun, to celebrate what ever the occasion may be. THIS was a good day!